Liechtenstein Rents Herself
by British Racing Green
Summary: With a title like this – and its content – I must rate this 'M'. This is based on fact and Switzerland isn't pleased. If you are under 18, DO NOT READ! Contains: Liechtenstein X Japan, Romania, Bad Trio and Germany.


_**I don't own Hetalia or any other brand mentioned.**_

**Warning – This story contains strong language and graphic sexual imagery and themes that are NOT suitable for under-18s. Reason for this is I'm a guy and I guess the male mind just works like this.**

**Liechtenstein Rents Herself**

Switzerland stormed up the road towards Liechtenstein's house. He was absolutely seething with rage, and was being given an _extremely_ wide berth by everybody who was walking in the opposite direction.

He reached the front door of his little adoptive sister's house and banged on it so ferociously that it almost flew off its hinges.

There came a sound of keys being frantically fumbled behind the battered door, which was soon opened by a panicky Liechtenstein.

"_Vhat is it big Bruder?_" Liechtenstein fretted.

"_YOU! SETTEE NOW!_" Switzerland screamed at Liechtenstein as he pushed her rather roughly back into her house and towards her living room.

Switzerland practically threw Liechtenstein onto her settee before slamming the front door shut.

Liechtenstein's eyes were full of terror. She had never seen Switzerland so angry at her before. In fact he had _never_ lost his temper with her, so she must have done something _seriously_ wrong.

The trouble was she didn't have a clue what he could be angry about.

She was just about to ask the obvious question, but Switzerland's glare immediately muted her.

Switzerland spent the next few minutes pacing in front of a quivering Liechtenstein. His gaze never once left her and he hardly blinked. The green and white of his eyes and blonde of his hair where now in stark contrast to the burning red of his face.

He finally halted directly in front of Liechtenstein and proceeded to pull what was once an advertising page in the countries private weekly newspaper out of his pocket.

Switzerland noisily cleared his throat and read the advert out loud.

"_Bored? Looking for a good time with a hot, __barely legal__ country? If you are, call Liechtenstein-_"

"_-She's all yours for US$70,000 a night. PS: I'll do kinky stuff for a fee we determine on the night._" Liechtenstein interrupted, finishing her own advert.

"_S-so it __is__ your ad._" Switzerland stuttered, his face turning ghostly white.

This was meant to be a wind-up, not the truth!

"_You know I wanted to shpell 'country' with no 'o' but they wouldn't let me._" Liechtenstein giggled.

Switzerland's jaw _dropped_. What on _Earth_ was his little sister saying?

"_Who are you and what have you done with my Liechtenstein?_" He mumbled more to himself than to her.

"_Belarus was planning to pay me to have a Threesome with her and Lithuania as a present for him, but because of Minsk's Metro being bombed that's not going to happen._" Liechtenstein brooded.

Switzerland had heard enough. His anger returned to him with even more intensity. The colour of his face was once again bright crimson and he looked as if he was going to bust a blood vessel.

Then, he finally came out with it.

"_YOU FILTHY LITTLE FUCKING SLUTTY WHORE!_" Switzerland bellowed at Liechtenstein as he mashed the advert into a ball and flung it at her, hitting her square on the nose.

Switzerland marched to the front door, yanked it open and slammed it shut with such ferocity that the foundations of the house shuddered along with Liechtenstein herself.

Blinded by rage, Switzerland barrelled his way out into the valleys.

After more than half-an-hour spent wandering around, Switzerland _finally_ sat down under some trees and pulled at his hair, letting out a pain and rage filled shriek.

His poor mind was now showing him images of Liechtenstein in all sorts of poses and nude situations with other nations.

*Inside Switzerland's Mind.*

"_You look very pletty in that outfit._" Japan told Liechtenstein as she posed for him in a tight Latex Maid's outfit as he put a new SD Card in his camera.

*Reality.*

"_Oh God! Japan is going to dress her up in silly Anime outfits!_" He cringed to himself.

*Inside Switzerland's Mind.*

"_OUCH!_" Liechtenstein cried as Romania bit into her soft neck as he spooned her while drilling her as well.

*Reality.*

"_Oh God! Romania is going to bite her neck and make her bleed!_"

*Inside Switzerland's Mind.*

Prussia laid back on Liechtenstein's bed and positioned her small womanhood over his _immense_ tool.

Spain grabbed Liechtenstein's backside and impaled her onto Prussia, causing her to scream louder than a drill. Spain continued to push down on her, but couldn't make any further progress.

"_I think maybe you're too big for her._" Spain laughed just as he was about to enter her himself through her #2 hole.

Liechtenstein could feel Spain's slippery fingers in her butt and began to get nervous. Seeing this, France placed a loving hand on her face and kissed her lips.

"_You don't 'ave to do zis if you don't want to._" He whispered in her ear.

"_No, I'm fine._" She replied. "_It's just Prussia is so big I'm vorried about Spain hurting me._"

Prussia turned Liechtenstein towards him and smiled.

"_You don't need to worry. He's nowhere near as 'awesome' as me, kesese!_" Prussia joked putting Liechtenstein at ease.

"_Hey!_" Spain moaned. "_She's going to pay for that._"

And with that, Spain forced his way in through Liechtenstein's backdoor making her scream yet again.

To shut her up, France stuck _his_ length in Liechtenstein's face. She didn't need to be told what to do and gleefully took it into her mouth.

*Reality.*

"_Oh God! Prussia, France and Spain are going to make her airtight!_" Switzerland was finding all of this unbearable.

*Inside Switzerland's Mind.*

"_I hear vone noise from you and this crop will make your ass bright ved!_" Germany told Liechtenstein who was in a Medieval Stock, ball-gagged and blindfolded as he used said crop to lightly pat her most sensitive area.

*Reality.*

"_Oh God! Germany is going to BDSM her!_" Switzerland thought before he heard a Dog bark in the distance.

*Inside Switzerland's Mind.*

"_This is a Great Dane Liechtenstein._" Germany said as he led the Hound into her room.

Liechtenstein lustfully licked her lips and grinned. "_I'm such a __bitch__ aren't I?_" She said to Switzerland as if she was breaking the Fourth Wall.

*Reality.*

"_Oh Jesus H. Christ no! If Germany does that to her I'll CASTRATE him and force feed him his own bollocks!_" Switzerland yelled.

By now he was on the threshold of having a full blown panic attack.

Remembering his First Aid, he took long and drawn out breaths until he calmed down and composed himself.

He decided to shut is eyes and listen to the surroundings. He needed to do some serious thinking.

"_Liechtenstein __is__ now old enough for sex under our rules, so I suppose I can't stop her from doing it in her own house._" He thought to himself.

"_But she could at least try and have a normal relationship. Her and Estonia would make a very nice smart young couple. But then again, she probably wants to experiment for a while. After all, I was no Saint when I was her age._"

Switzerland eventually saw the light. Liechtenstein was _perfectly_ within her rights to do this...so long as it was in _her_ house.

He had a rather humble apology to make.

When he got back to Liechtenstein's house, Switzerland had to say he was sorry through the letterbox because she wouldn't let him in. She had done the same to Snoop Dogg the previous year when he begged her to be in one of his music videos. She doesn't like Rap music.

But when she finally relented, Switzerland dashed into Liechtenstein's hallway and hugged her so hard while repeatedly telling her he was _so_ sorry. When he wasn't apologising to her, he was kissing her head and brushing away her tears of relief.

After that the pair sat on her settee for awhile in silence until Liechtenstein quietly spoke up.

"_So big Bruder. You have no problem with me doing this?_" She asked tentatively.

"_No. No I don't Liechtenstein._" Switzerland smiled before kissing her forehead again.

"_I'm making them rubber up by the way._" Liechtenstein said authoritatively.

Switzerland didn't answer, but was the first to speak a few moments later.

"_I do think your pricing yourself out of the market though._" He chuckled.

Liechtenstein laughed to, but had a comeback ready and waiting.

"_Nah. US$70,000 is about right. They'll get their money's worth with me._"

Switzerland roared with mirth and kissed Liechtenstein's hair.

After eating the dinner they made together, Switzerland and Liechtenstein curled up together and watched some TV with a hot chocolate each.

_**You can genuinely hire the Principality of Liechtenstein for US$70,000 per night for you and 150 guests...this could be the ultimate Cosplay adventure (but I've got to go as well).**_

_**The trip comes complete with custom street signs and temporary currency, but you can't piss off the 35,000 locals.**_

_**You can even have your own personal medieval procession, for an undisclosed extra cost.**_

_**Liechtenstein hasn't been rented yet, but a couple almost hired the Principality for their wedding before it was called off (reason not stated). The reason why I chose Belarus and Lithuania as the couple is because I found this story on 15 April 2011, and the Minsk Metro Bombing (check out my fic for that) happened on 11 April 2011.**_

_**(Belarus and Liechtenstein arranged it earlier...plot hole dealt with!)**_

_**Snoop Dogg really did try to hire the whole Principality for a music video, but he was turned down by the local authorities.**_

_**If it wasn't for Hetalia, I'd've just found this story amusing, but when I saw '**__**Lichtenstein**__** has decided to make itself (herself) **__**available**__** to **__**private**____**clients**__** from **__**US$70,000**__** a **__**night**__**' all sorts of images went through my mind.**_

_**She isn't as innocent and naïve as she looks.**_

_**Please review.**_


End file.
